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I always thought this was called ‘Convolvulus’, but in researching this I found the familiar plant with white trumpet shaped flowers and heart shaped leaves, is actually called ‘Calystegia sepium’. Whilst it is related to convolvulus, and they share many characteristics, doesn’t actually bear that name, so I will refer to it by its colloquial name, bindweed.

I’m sure the beautiful white flowers are familiar to many of us, either from seeing it grow wild or maybe because we’ve had to deal with it encroaching on our gardens. Whilst the flower is attractive, the plant is very prolific, which may not be a problem in a wild area, but it lives up to its name, as it winds itself around other plants, choking them; thus, destroying less resilient competitors.

Like most plants we would call weeds (I always think weeds are just plants growing in unwelcome places), it is well designed for survival. It spreads rampantly, growing up existing structures and plants, and across the ground seeking out new spaces and other plants to smother. It grows from an underground system of rhizomes (underground stems) and deep roots, and even a small piece of broken off root can grow another plant. If you try to pull it up, it will most likely break at the base of the stem and leave the root in place, thus preserving itself, whilst leaving us with a false sense of success at having removed it.

It struck me that this is like some of our thoughts, which can often be deeply based, especially where they started to grow from things in our early years. Without us even noticing, as it happens under the surface, they can develop a strong root system in our thinking. The shoots that come up from them sometimes have beautiful parts which we and others briefly admire, yet they also tend to spread into other areas of our lives and take over. Noticing this, we sometimes seek to contain them and pull some bits off, yet if the root remains, the plant is ever present and will return to continue choking other growth.

Of course, if a weed is just a plant that is not welcome, we may welcome it and thus it becomes just a plant; that is a choice a gardener makes, and rightly so. If you love your bindweed, then you can allow it to run rampant. Although neighbouring gardeners might not appreciate its tendency to invade, and so it may create conflict between you, it is your decision.

I would suggest only this, don’t let the plants become the gardeners, and take away your choices. Get to know the plants you are growing and choose them rather than letting them grow by happenstance. There are so many things that can be grown, even in the most impoverished of soils and smallest of spaces; in fact, there are a wonderful variety of plants that thrive in just these conditions, yet I suspect you are neither small nor impoverished by nature!

Why let the bindweed bind you – look out for out it and get the help to root it out, so that you can have a garden that gives you joy, and reflects the wonder that you are now, not allowing things that have rooted in the past, to drown out the present!

Maybe we should be clear,
What freedom means.
Freedom doesn’t mean
Doing what you like
Regardless of the consequences,
Rather freedom means
Doing what you like
Knowing about the consequences;
You are not free of them,
You are free to cause
Whichever consequences
You choose.
Consequences are natural,
They will always come.
You only control them
At the point you make
A decision,
Not afterwards.
So maybe we should call
Today, ‘Decision day’
For we must all decide
What consequences we
Are willing to cause
Not only for us, but for all
Those around us.


Share D’All
19th July 2021

I had been having trouble with my back for eight days, started by merely coughing whilst coming downstairs one morning. The days extended because I had twice made it worse, the first time by allowing my desire to fulfil my usual role as food provider in the family, to overtake my common sense about what my body was ready to do, and the second time, with it by now severely irritated, by merely performing a necessarily body function, whilst rather ineptly trying to protect it.

I was left unable to move by myself, with all the muscles in my back spasming at every movement, and thus spent several days in my bedroom, having to lie down and rest with interchangeable ice packs and hot water bottles. Last night, unable to sleep, despite it being much better than it has been, I lay there feeling that I had mislaid my usual inner self somehow; had lost my contact with the universe and those outside these four walls.

I am not used to being so confined and focussing so intently on my physical existence. My concentration for days having been almost completely absorbed by managing the pain, discomfort, and weakness of my body, punctuated only by trying to use frivolous distractions to keep my mind occupied, and a few welcome texts from family and friends, some of which were sharing help and support they and their families also needed.

I have been here before, but it was a long-forgotten experience; being constantly aware of the need to keep my body safe, or move it carefully, and a new one, having to come to terms with needing the assistance of a loved one to perform the basest of bodily functions.

I am lucky; both to have a loved one to do this, and to know that for me this is fleeting, but for many this is life, at least for much longer than I have experienced it. I was aware I was just struggling to adapt and had not yet found myself in these conditions, despite knowing the conditions do not make me what I am, unless I let them.

In the darkness I looked inside myself and focused on my breath; in and out. I thought about who I am right now and what I am part of. I thought about my immediate family and the love we share. I thought about my wider family, starting with those to whom I am still close and then those who are further from me; either separated by space as they are far away living their own lives, or by space and time, as they are no longer with us here, and yet they remain part of me, and I of them.

My span of vision continued to expand, and I thought of my immediate friends, those with whom I communicate and share myself. I thought of their families and those they love, whose griefs and joys also touch me. I thought of past friends whose imprint is still there on my life and always will be, whether our separation is merely a result of lives moved on, or lives ended.

My focus widened to those with whom I share more task focused contact, or geographic proximity, and so who in some way at least share with me our own particular version of life and its pressures and changes, even though our inner worlds may be vastly different. I thought of those further from me whose external lives may appear so separate from mine and yet from whom things I use day to day may have come, whether they are alive or dead. I thought of those with whom I have no direct contact, past and present, but who are and have been living life here on this planet and who may, or may not, have touched my life in ways I will never see.

All these people are like me, body, mind, and spirit; they are made from the same cells, the same invisible energy holds their cells together. They are living, and have lived, their own versions of the same life as I live now. I realised I am part of something vast and I started to see it, but at first was unable to know what I was seeing. I wanted to grasp it in some way; to understand.

Then it came to me; an idea that was like a light on my experience….

We are like skin. Skin is made of many myriad of cells, each with the same essential make-up but also varying in purpose, look and location. Some are visible, like the cells on the surface of the face (most often observed), some less visible; some are waiting for their time to be visible, some nearing the end of their physical attachment here.

Each skin cell has proximity with other skin cells, as with all cells, each has a life span, but when one cell is shed, it is not the end of the life. Outside the visible body we know the matter that makes up the skin cell does not die, it simply changes form, so many times that at some point it will no doubt become part of a different body, or even the same one! However, whatever happens with the individual cell, the skin as a whole, carries on until the whole life it is part of changes.

Each skin cell changes, yet the skin as a whole, changes too. I see it in my body. My skin is no longer what it was; age has made its mark, as has the sun. The more each skin cell changes, and the more skin cells I shed, has an effect. In my palm at the moment there is the scar of a blister, on my leg the tattoo of being stabbed by a pencil in my youth; some scars pass but others remain and become part of who we are, yet our skin changes with the passing of time too.

We are the skin of the human race, and that skin together contains all the energies of humankind, past, present and future. What holds us together is the invisible energy of life, as the energy that holds cells together is invisible, we too we often overlook that it is there because we do not see it. The body that we hold together contains immeasurable creativity, power, potential.

Of course, we are not only the skin; we are the whole body, mind, and spirit of the human race. Our lives, no matter how fleeting in each expression, leave their mark on each other and therefore that whole life; whether it is what we say, or do, whether it is in the thoughts that we promote, or simply by loving or being loved and lost, we leave our mark. 

There in the dark, I once again knew who I am and it was beautiful and unchanged whether my cell is, at the moment, or any time, visible or not. I am part of this being that is humankind, an individual expression of a greater life.

I am not alone, and we function together.  

Share D’All
July 2021

I am raw
The loss of you has left me wounded.
As if a part of me
Has been wrenched away;
Leaving me bloodied and in pain.

Beloved
Leaving you was the one thing
That almost kept me
There, with you, in flesh;
Yet this body’s journey was done.

Where are you?
Flesh of my flesh, are you hurting too?
I want to hold you close,
Wash away all pain;
Know that you are safe and at peace.

I am safe.
I am at peace. Yes, my body’s done,
But all I am is not.
My love is not gone,
And my spirit knows new freedom.

How can I
Go on without you; or heal this wound?
Broken and all alone.
They say time will heal,
But it can never bring you back.

I’m still here
Our bodies were always separate
Yet now I’m everywhere.
My love still holds you
Though my body no longer can.

I am lost.
I can’t see a road ahead of me.
I have no strength to walk.
Without you beside
There is no journey now for me.

I see them,
Many paths that can stretch before you.
Rest now, cry your tears, yet
Know I’m always here.
Then walk on; my love walks with you.


© Share D’All   2021
Please feel free to share

Come energy of love and light,
My soul source.
Come my eternal spirit,
Move through me.
Wash out the fear that holds me back,
From being fully
What I can be,
When you flow freely in me.

Wash out the cobwebs
That my spider thoughts have spun;
Misunderstanding
The role of pain as need for fear,
Instead of healing.
Wipe away the many walls
Built to protect me
From the pain of seeming foolish;
Fear of being shunned.

Come energy of love and light
My soul source.
Come my eternal spirit,
Flow through me.
Fill all my empty space with light,
Courage, truth, and love,
So I will be,
At my full capacity.

I am very aware that we don’t all have the benefit of five senses (touch, sight, hearing, smell, taste). My sister and niece have no sense of smell, which is quite unusual outside these Covid times, but many more people lack sight or hearing which has much more of an impact on life I’m sure. 

It maybe that missing one or two of the senses makes you appreciate the others you do have more; I don’t know, but certainly I’ve realised recently how much I often overlook just how much pleasure mine can bring me.

In a world where we tend to be extremely focused on the value of doing and achieving, or simply having things. Of course there is pleasure in achievement, and possessions, but when we focus predominantly in this way it’s all too easy to miss out on just enjoying the simple things the world gives us through our senses, where we need do nothing but enjoy. I believe that means we often miss out on many of the riches life naturally offers us.

Recently I have had a problem with my back, and it has meant I haven’t been able to do a lot of the things I enjoy which feel purposeful. I haven’t been able to sit writing for long, I haven’t been able to get as much exercise as usual, so I have felt less fit, I haven’t been able to stand for too long and bake or cook anything interesting, and I haven’t been able to do the housework that keeps pointing itself out to me – not that I’m really complaining about that, it’s not my forte at the best of times!

I found myself frustrated and feeling useless. Then I stopped and lay on my back for a while and listened. I remembered that I don’t really believe that the value of life is in doing, but in experiencing all life has to offer whilst I am being who I choose to be. I suddenly thought it would be good to make a list of all the things that give me pleasure without me having to do anything, so I started a list. These are the ones that are simply joys that come from using my senses, there are others, things I simply do for the pleasure of doing them, that have no other purpose!

Below is just a small part of my ‘senses’ list as it’s extremely long, and I keep thinking of things to add to it. These are the riches of life that I often overlook. Maybe sometimes it’s good to have things that stop us in our tracks and give us the opportunity to notice them, but of course we can stop and do that anytime we choose.

Why not have a go and make your own list – unsurprisingly many of them came through our senses, but many others come through relationships and things we do, some of which, at the moment in this lockdown world may be experienced close up or more at a distance. I find just thinking of these things brings often brings a smile to my face. I guess we may share things in common, but everyone’s list will have their own special things that are personal to them.  Also, more good news, I’ve found once I have recalled these things in making the list, I am noticing them more at other times. Life can be rich indeed, even when we may feel it is limited.

• The trill, twitter, and coo of birdsong, especially on a sunny day
• Feeling the warmth of the sun on my face
• Chocolate melting on my tongue
• The sudden unexpected scent of mahonia or sarcococca on a drab winter’s walk
• Putting soft slippers on when my feet are tired.
• A baby smiling at me with its face hands and feet.
• The soft feel of fur and the vibrating purr of a cat enjoying being stroked.
• The sound of waves on the shingle at the seashore
• The sight of a tree in full blossom against a blue sky
• Feeling the cool of a shady patch on a hot day’s walk
• The smell of freshly mown grass
• Seeing a tree with its branches laden with white, fresh snow
• Touching the velvety soft ears of my Labrador
• The smell of someone else’s curry cooking as I walk past.
• The breath-taking view standing on a rocky outcrop atop a mountain.
• The sound of the sea lapping gently round a boat on calm day.
• The sight of a loved one’s smile
• The feel of getting into a hot bath on a cold day.
• The random shock of colour of a bed of wildflowers in bloom
• Seeing the joy of a dog chasing a ball
• The smell of freshly baked bread
• A glass of lemon & lime cordial with ice on a hot day
• The reds, oranges, and yellows of autumn leaves
• The tail wagging the whole dog to greet you when you get home.
• Finding perfect rose in bloom, then realising it also has a beautiful scent.
• The delicate beauty of a spider’s web covered in dew.
• The sound of infectious laughter
• The tickle of a furry caterpillar walking across my hand.
• The sight of an unexpected isolated sandy beach on a sunny day
• Lucy’s chocolate Guinness cake

I could go on and on. There are so many sources of joy in life, these are just a taste of those that come only through our senses but there are so many more. I recommend writing them down sometimes, however you frame the list; I am thinking of doing one that is about fleeting moments between people, be they loved ones or strangers, that make your heart sing, however briefly.

Whatever your list comprises of, taking time to acknowledge and record the things that bring joy to your soul, however small, can have the wonderful effect of making them more accessible at other times – somehow, they can become more than fleeting.

Enjoy!

Share D’All  April 2021

I am discovering
That harmony is beautiful
Unless sought at the expense
Of honesty and truth;
For then what will result,
Is simply hidden discord.

I am realising,
Honesty’s only part of truth.
It’s the telling of my truth;
Knowing the actual truth,
Needs to be understood
From a wider perspective.

I am discovering
Whilst honesty is wonderful,
If it’s done at the expense
Of kindness and of love,
The result is often
Needless pain for all concerned.

I am realising,
That adding kindness simply means
To demonstrate I care,
About the impact of
My truth, my honesty.
Knowing pain may still arise.

I am acknowledging
That if I withhold my truth,
To try and keep harmony,
It does not bring me joy.
It is not love of others,
Or myself. It’s only fear.

It is dawning on me,
That pain can be a steppingstone;
The voice that guides to healing,
Both of self and others.
Followed, past fear, with love,
It can lead to harmony.

© Share D’All.  2021.
All Rights reserved

“So, I’ve come to you to ask you,
The greater me I’ve always hoped, 
Could be what I become.
Can you forgive me
My inadequacy?”

Come step outside yourself,
As you are now.
Step outside of space and time,
For that is where your vision will be clear,
Your mind and understanding
Unencumbered.
Here, where every moment touches
And is now.
Here in this moment
You are all that you are
And all you ever have been.
All that is, and is not
In perfect balance.
There is no success, or failure,
No cause for pride or disappointment,
No annoyance,
No need for tolerance or patience.
No good, or bad,
No preference.
Here in this moment
Is all that you can be,
And all you ever will be.
You and I are one.
Here there is no separation,
No space between us,
No loss, or fear of loss.
Nothing matters,
Because everything is here.
We are everything, and always will be.
So, whilst on this journey
In time and space,
At any time you need,
Step outside yourself
Into this moment
And know.
There is no
Inadequacy.


© Share D’All (2021)
All Rights Reserved

“So, I’ve come to you to ask you,
My eternal friend, in whose company
I can most be myself.
Do you accept me
Without requirement?
My soul yearns for a reply.”


Yearn no more, my friend,
For I will make it plain
Now you have sought to ask me for the truth.

I am your constant companion,
For I am everywhere.
And whilst it’s true that sometimes,
You turn your face from me
You are ever in my sight;
There is no hiding.
I am all seeing, ever present,
And I love you, whatever I see.

I am your constant companion,
For I am everywhere.
And whilst I know that often
You turn your thoughts away
They are ever in my sight:
There is no hiding.
I am all knowing, ever present,
And I love you, whatever you think.

I am your constant companion,
For I am everywhere.
And whilst I know your actions
Often disappoint you,
And you may want to hide them;
There is no hiding.
I am all seeing, ever present,
And I love you, whatever you do.

Unlike you, I make no judgements,
I do not turn my face.
I do not have requirements,
I am your constant friend.
I am whatever you need,
For I have no needs.
I am everything, always in balance,
So I can be, whatever you need.

Be things and do things, not because
I somehow require it,
But because you desire it.
Know I am here for you
Whenever you turn to me,
You are not alone.
I am your all seeing, all knowing
Ever present, ever loving friend.

I will always speak truth to you,
Without expectation.
I will help you to question,
Where you are coming from
And where you’re trying to go,
Without agenda.
I am one with your soul, with your heart,
And I love and accept who you are.

Believe it my friend.
And be at home with me;
My love desires for you, all you desire.


Share D’All. Feb 2021
All Rights Reserved.

I love dogs, I once heard someone on a radio phone-in about the best partner, and they said it was a dog – because no matter how late you come home, they will always be pleased to see you! Maybe that said more about the person ringing in, but I had a dog at the time, and knew this was wonderfully true – they are very loving creatures, and they don’t expect much really.

I know dogs have been bred to be appealing to humans, and it is often said people look like their dogs, but maybe we are more like dogs than we realise, or maybe we could just learn something from them.

One such thing struck me when my love of dogs caused me to be drawn to a video recently, about a dog who had been confined in a cage for many years. She was in a terrible state; not only was she cage bound, but she had clearly not been fed a balanced diet as she looked very unhealthy, mangy, and unattractive. She was afraid of humans and barked, growled, and tried to bite anyone who came too close. She was an aggressive dog… not one you would pick out for love.

Yet when someone had the patience to show her kindness, safely using a thick glove to gently, at her pace, get close enough to stroke her and show affection, she gradually responded and allowed herself to be touched.

Over time she was transformed to a cheerful loving dog who wanted to give and receive affection and was fine with other dogs… tail wagging with happiness at meeting new kind people and just being free to run around and explore. Life was clearly good. There are few things so plainly joyful as a dog with a wagging tail making the most of being free.

It made me think that we humans are subject to some of the same reactions to negative things as dogs, and whilst we do not have tails to wag, we have our own ways to show when we are happy. We can also be aggressive; saying and doing things designed to push others away… generally speaking that does not make us attractive to those who are at the other end of the aggression.

When a dog is young having a cage can make them feel safe, a bit like people need boundaries to help them stay safe when they are young, but there are many other forms of cage which have a far less beneficial purpose or impact for both dogs and humans. Dogs are pack animals; they are not made to be alone and when they are it damages them.

For dogs, which are in many ways simple creatures, the removal of physical freedom or kindness have the most obvious negative effects, but for us humans there are less visible cages too. People can too easily be left caged in ways of thinking that cut them off from being free; unable to hear or consider anything outside what they have been taught is acceptable. When people are caged in this way, they often become aggressive at the mere idea of a different view, as if just getting close to it will harm them.

Too many times people have been fed on a restricted diet of ideas, ideas unbalanced to the point where it affects mental and physical health. They too may lack the energy to think for themselves, not recognising the value to their body and mind of the nourishment of asking questions, exploring different perspectives, and making up their own minds up based on what they find out. They become accustomed to just consuming what their usual food providers give them, unaware of the negative impact on them or others. Suspicious of any other offers.

Too many people feel they are isolated and alone – having to fight for survival and keep others away for fear of harm… when the truth is, like that dog in the cage, they were made to be with others, it is freedom, and the love and company of others that is what they are made for. It is both giving and receiving care and affection that makes their tails wag with joy but they need to leave their cage.

So, I thought, maybe rather than seeing them as unattractive and aggressive, we need to have thick enough skins to get close, not stay away to protect ourselves. We need to have the patience to go gently to where they are and show affection, to stick at showing there is no need for fear of rejection, to gently proffer other types of food, not to force feed them, but to help them know that those offering it are doing so with love, not a vested interest, bent on doing them harm. Taking this approach there is hope that, eventually, they will realise their cage is not protecting them and they do not protect themselves by keeping others with loving intention out.

Dogs are innocent creatures, so once the kindness gets through, it is often not too long a road back to them finding joy and freedom again, and we start to see it when their tails start to wag, but we humans are capable of that too. We don’t have tails to wag (more’s the pity), but when we recognise that we are among friends, we too can come out of our cages and enjoy being alongside each other, giving and receiving affection, exploring our world in all its wonderful diversity, and finding it gives us joy to be together.

As I said, there are few things as full of joy as a dog running free with tail wagging – let’s take the time to help each other find that joy too.

Share D’All.

Picture by Jade (Morguefile)